ROTTWEILLER

I'M JUST A ROTTWEILLER WANNA BE

A HEIDI SANDWICH

TONIGHT I WAS "SQUOZE" BETWEEN TWO NURSES AT THE NURSING HOME. THEY WERE FEEDING ME TIDBITS OF HAMBURGER PATTY AND HUGGING ME. JUST SQUIRT A LITTLE MUSTARD AND ONION ON ME AND CALL ME A HOT DOG.
I NEED TO GO TO THE NURSING HOME MORE OFTEN.

STRANGE LITTLE DOG

I HAVE A STRANGE LITTLE DOG. WHEN I LEFT THE HOUSE ONE MORNING OVER THE WEEKEND, I LEFT HEIDI WITH MY GRANDSON. I ASKED HIM WHAT SHE DOES WHEN I'M NOT HOME. HE SAID SHE HID BEHIND THE RECLINER ALMOST THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GONE. NOW THIS IS THE SAME LITTLE WEENIE THAT WAS SO SPLAYED OUT ON THE COUCH, SO HE COULD RUB HER TUMMY, THAT I WAS ASHAMED FOR HER.

ECSTASY

I AM SO TIRED. I HAVE BEEN IN A STATE OF ECSTASY FOR DAYS. I HAVE BEEN AROUND 3 MEN AND THAT IS ALMOST MORE THAN I CAN BEAR. I NEED A NAP.

INTRUDER

I AM SO SAD!! MY MOMMY BROUGHT A NEW DOG INTO MY HOUSE. HE IS A TOY "ROTTENWEILLER"!! I SHOWED HER. I RIPPED OUT IT'S SILLY LITTLE RED TONGUE AND BIT OFF IT'S NOSE.

THE GREAT ESCAPE

IT MAY LOOK LIKE I AM TRAPPED, BUT, I CAN GET OUTTA HERE ANYTIME I WANT TO. MOMMY PUTS ME IN HERE WHEN SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO GO IN THE CAR AND SOMETIMES WHEN SHE GETS BACK, I HAVE ESCAPED. WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!