DUMPSTER DIVING

MY MOMMY AND HER GRANDSON WERE EATING CHICKEN AND GAVE ME SOME CARTLIDGE AND SOME SLIVERS OF MEAT. WHEN THEY WERE DONE, MY MOMMY WRAPPED THE PERFECTLY GOOD BONES, SKIN, FAT, ETC AND PUT IT IN THE GARBAGE. I KNOW THEY INTENDED TO EAT THAT AFTER I WENT TO SLEEP. THEY CAN'T TELL ME THE BONES ARE NO GOOD. THEY ARE JUST SNEAKY. SO, QUIET AS A MOUSE, I GOT THOSE TASTEY MORSELS OUT OF THE TRASH, DEMOLISHED 2 DRUMSTICKS AND WAS HALFWAY THROUGH THE LAST DRUMSTICK WHEN I WAS CAUGHT. SHE TRIED TO SHAME ME AND PRETEND THEY MIGHT HURT ME. WHO DOES SHE THINK I AM?

MY BIRTHDAY

MY MOMMY MISSED MY BIRTHDAY. I DIDN'T EVEN GET A DOG CAKE OR NOTHING. IT'S NOT EVERY DAY A GIRL TURNS 2.
THERE BETTER BE A CELEBRATION IN OCTOBER FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY. THAT IS WHEN I GOT MY "OTHER MOTHER". THE ONE THAT WRITES THIS BLOG FOR ME. I'VE NEVER SEEN MY BIRTH MOM SINCE I LEFT THAT RAINY NIGHT THEY LOADED ME UP IN A CAR AND BROUGHT ME TO HER.

INVASION

HELP, MY HOUSE IS BEING OVERTAKEN BY LOUD MONSTERS. FIRST THERE WAS THE VACUUM. THAT WAS A REAL TERROR. MADE ME HIDE BEHIND THE RECLINER. THEN, THERE WAS THE SWEEPER. IT WASN'T QUITE AS LOUD, BUT YOU GUESSED IT. THE ONLY SAFE PLACE WAS BEHIND THE RECLINER. NOW TODAY, IT WAS A CARPET STEAM CLEANER. MY MOMMY HAS HINTED IT IS MY FAULT WE HAD TO GET THE THING. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY. SHE BETTER WATCH OUT. THERE IS NOT ROOM FOR BOTH OF US IN MY SAFE PLACE. IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THESE HORRIBLE MONSTERS TAKE OVER.
THERE ARE ALSO MONSTERS IN THE KITCHEN, THE DISHWASHER AND THE VENT-A-HOOD. THEY DO HAVE THE DECENCY TO STAY IN THEIR PLACE. THEY DON'T MOVE AROUND. SOMEBODY TELL MY MOMMY WE ARE IN GRAVE DANGER.

MY MOMMY IS NO PHOTOGRAPHER

AS EVIDENCED LEFT, MY MOMMY CAN'T TAKE A GOOD PICTURE.