I'M SOOOOO COLD

Something happened yesterday. It got cold. I don't like it. I want it to go away.
Mommy stuck a sweater on me this morning to make me feel better. Can't she see? It's too little. I must have grown since I had it on last spring.
She just needs to sit in one spot and let me curl up in her lap and stay warm. That is what she is for. She is so hard to keep trained. Sometimes I am at my wits end. Just when I get all curled up and snuggly, she wants to get up and do laundry, eat, smoke, get the phone or some other unnecessary thing.
Sometimes, I am just dead for sleep and she goes in the garage, and I have to get out of my nice warm bed and follow her to make sure she behaves. I don't know what she would do if I didn't watch her constantly.
Are there any other animals that own people and have learned to train them? I need tips. I have called for help in the past and so far no response. Am I blogging into thin air? Do you know how hard it is for a mini weenie to blog in the first place?
Hello, hello, hello. Is anybody out there? Can anybody hear me?