Ferocious Heidi

Tonight we decided to dine out again. Heidi's feathers were ruffled even before we got in the car. There was a woman on the porch of the house in front of mine. Heidi decided she was a terrible danger to our life and limb, so she barked, growled and snarled as she struggled on the end of her leash. When I had to pick her up and put her in the back seat, she jumped up in the back window and threatened some more. She never did settle down and when we got to Sonic, they got my order wrong because she was barking into the speaker. Okay, sometimes they get it wrong when there is no distraction. This time I begged her to get in the floorboard and shut up because she was an embarrassment. She finally did settle down and I didn't hear from her anymore. After all that, I decided to just pay for the order even though it was wrong and slink away home.

Dining Out

About once a week, my mommy and I dine out in a place I'm allowed. You guessed it! We go to Sonic. Nothing is too good for me.
Last week, I psyched out a group of teenage girls. I saw them and barked. Before they could find out where the noise was coming from, I hid in the floorboard, and they were going around telling each other they could hear a little dog barking. Ha! Ha! I fooled them. Then they ordered their 99 cent burgers and forgot about me.
Mommy bought me a pen and she puts me in it for no good reason at all. She put it in the entranceway so when someone comes to the door, she can grab me when I'm distracted and throw me in there. Sure messes up my fun.
I hope she knows that when the roles are reversed, I'm gonna remember what she did to me. I will show her no mercy. I'll do more than nip her toes.

WIMPY WEENIE

For all her ferocious barking and growling, I am the mother of a wimpy weenie. She would die of mortification if she knew that I knew what she knows. I have figured out, she doesn't want to go with me because she wants my company, she goes because she is scared to stay home. She is in a bad place, because if she goes and has to stay in the car, she hits the floorboard as soon as I get out of the car and stays there until I get back. When I get back to the car and look in, she is gazing up at me like a deer in the headlights. Sometimes, when I get back from the nursing home, she is hidden behind the recliner and won't make a sound until I start calling her. I guess as she gets older, she realizes that she is really, really short and not very big at all.
I bought her a little pen to be in on the back patio and she shakes when I put her in it. Now mind you, she will dart out the door on the darkest night and run all the way around the house, but that seems to be okay with her. Maybe it is because she is so busy getting away from me, she doesn't know fear.
I had hoped, by buying the pen, I could put her litter pan in it and persuade her to go outside, so she wouldn't spread litter all over the bathroom. Ha! Ha!, the joke is on me as usual. She is not about to squat in the great outdoors.

Heidi goes to nursing home

I took Heidi to the nursing home when she was a baby, shivering in her little basket. Then I took her on a leash a few times, but the nurses would baby talk her and then have to mop up the floor.
So, yesterday, she went for the first time in a long, long time. She balked when she hit the tile floor and I had to carry her. She shivered uncontrollably. In Daddy's room, I put the loop of her leash under a chair leg. She was a big hit and got petted and picked up, etc. When I got up to step in the restroom, I noticed she was having absolute rigors. I picked her up and her whole chest and bottom was ice cold. Oh, how tender she is.
I took her out again this afternoon when my brother was there. I had to carry her again. She ignored my brother, although she has conniption fits when he comes to "her" house. One of the nurses stopped at the door of the room and she barked at her. My brother said she has "issues".
What amazes me is residents in the hall who have no expression on their faces and don't acknowledge when you speak to them, will come right up and touch her and talk to her.
The same thing happens when you take a baby out there. The residents come alive. Sad they don't have something like that to stimulate them every day.

HEIDI

This entry is serious. Nobody let me have a profile, so I'll make my own! This way my readers will know more about me and what makes me tick.

TURN ONS:

short sprints around the yard with my mommy and others chasing and trying to catch me
my mommy's food
my mommy's beverage
going in the car with my mommy
fetching my toys when Mommy throws them
eating carpet, baseboard, furniture, wiring and cables
peeing right beside my litter box
playing with my monkey
getting my tummy rubbed

TURN OFFS:

dog food
dog water
sleeping in my bed instead of Mommy's
being left home
not being able to play in the street
the word NO

Just another day

It was just another day for Heidi and me. We went to the vet this afternoon. Time for her heartworm prevention meds. I could give it at home, but she gets her nails trimmed by the vet. The vet took her to the back of the office and opened the door to call her assistant. When Heidi saw the dog cages in the back, she put on her brakes. She loves to go to the vet, but she remembers being abandoned there for 12 days while I went on vacation. I wonder what she thought when I was gone for so long. I know it took a few days before she would warm up to me back home.
Today she weighed 10 lbs on the dot.
Last night Heidi played a relay race with herself. She had one of her toys and she dropped it on the floor, then she streaked around the room and tried to catch it as she flew by. Sometimes she got it and sometimes she didn't. I think it is amazing she could think up her own game that way.

I'M IN TRUBLE

My mommy bought a camera about the time I was 3 months old. Evil Twin Weenie chewed up all the cables. Mommy took pictures of me before Evil Twin Weenie ruined the camera but they are about used up and I really need some new pictures.
I just had an anniversary. I adopted my mommy on 10-7-04. I put an ad for me in the paper and she fell for it. I was so anxious to get to her, I made my first human mommy bring me to her. I hated to leave my parents and brothers, but hey, I was weaned and it was time to move on.
I knew this other mommy I was adopting needed me very much. I planned to be the best little puppy in the world, but I just couldn't suppress my evil twin. Until I get her under control, I guess I will be in a whole bunch of truble.

SOS! HELP! MAYDAY!!

I am at my wit's end. This human bean I live with is untrainable. Talk about "old dogs and new tricks", well include old mommies in that too. Obviously, before I came along, she did as she pleased. She persists in closing the door in my face, if she is fast enough, when she goes in the bedroom. I need in that bedroom. It has a big bed to run under, shoes, and all sorts of things to meddle. Excuse me, bad choice of words. Lots of things for me to look into. I have to know everything that is going on under my roof. After all, I am responsible. Sometimes I hear dangerous noises outside and I bark and bark and bark, trying to scare whatever it is away. Most of the time my mommy pays no attention. I keep running to the door and usually she won't go look to see if there is danger.
I know there are programs for trainning puppies, but I haven't found a site for mommies.

Heidi's 12 step program

Heidi has a problem. I have developed a 12 step program to help her get over her addiction, disgusting behaviour, etc.

1. i will not eat poop

2. I will not eat poop

3. I WILL NOT eat poop

4. I WILL NOT EAT poop

5. I WILL NOT EAT POOP

You see where this is going? Do the math!